.

echo of a red vested samurai sword

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 22:36:43 GMT

i was informed over sushi recently that my friend's totem creature was the spider. mine is most definitely not the snake. i have a recurring dream that i'm being attacked by snakes or at least one snake. last night i dreamed i was attacked by a really fucked up looking one that appeared almost as if it had just been run over by a large wheel or stepped on by a giant foot or something. it chased me around the pier i found myself on and eventually bit deeply into my neck. i had to tear the jaw off it's body in order to escape. i discovered that i had it's fangs inside my mouth and all of it's venom was running down my chin and down my throat. i find the more i drink the more violent my dreams become. sometimes i want to drink enough to find my way back to zero. zero is hot magic! the number 11 is supposed to be magic too. delmore claims that in dreams begin responsibilities and denton affirms that in youth is pleasure. i'm reading a great novel titled a man without qualities. i hope tonight i dream that i am a one of a kind sea denizon that is so respected even the tiger sharks know to stay the fuck back! i'll just float around eating sea wreaths and listening to my echoplex.

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 19:13:17 GMT

when i would think about poetry
i would picture a long rectangle
tight to the left with bumpy edges
that would roll down the page,
a few commas every now and then
and even some periods sometimes.

in this picture i have of poetry,
the rectangle is severed in thirds
by two empty spaces, like bumpers
between the thoughts to control
the reading pace and structure.
so the thing to do now is to add

now i remember every poem needs
a bit of sound to throw around
so we can read aloud in melody
so dont forget to end every line
with words that make it end in rhyme
because anything less can never be

considered

.poetry

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 19:48:02 GMT

irish green in the mornings
soft hair is losing memory
learn to let it wait and happen
and drink the last of your tea

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 01:28:57 GMT

i write the same way i make music.
i play around, i know a few chords.
i keep playing until i find a few notes that sound well or pretty together.
i know nothing of music theory. progressions. crescendos.
and this is why i cant write a book that sounds like music.

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 22:24:58 GMT

his mind seems to be perpetually adrift ten feet behind his body.

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 19:40:57 GMT

its amazing how far down a road one can travel
without even moving
my life is a river sometimes
and i just sit here, floating.
its 12-34, and ive been here before.
ive turned down this very same door.
its not this, its not that, its not you
its just... i dont know what to do.
im sorry, its just that i have a tendency
to catch myself if i stumble
rather than roll through the fall
but i need you to push me over
because i have a tendancy to stall.
i need you to walk away
because i can stand here forever
and never seize today.
45 and i stopped counting
it shouldnt be that way
its a rhymth not a measure
a repetition that cant restart
im just not ready to be whole
because i need to first be apart
theres a road to who i should be
and current of who i am
i just cant stay here to get there
because ill sink as you swam

nightmare

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 03:19:31 GMT

i hear your voice and i feel your pain
when im afraid, i call out your name,
asleep and numb waking in my tomb
the bitter soft relief of another move

my arm draped around the hips of fate
each word like dust that my lips create
fill the grave with fallen grace i claim
and each breath slips out as i go insane

there is a brother dreaming of his twin
his eyes tear goodbyes with his final sin
a stain on his chest with his rival slain
its dark and cold and i call your name

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 23:27:28 GMT

ive lately been compelled to converse with old people. to see if they have anything to teach i guess. in a way, i want to peek ahead into the future, to learn any tricks or shortcuts or lessons. and most importantly i want to know if they really are very different from myself.

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 23:21:57 GMT

i can use logic to prove
that illogic is true
but what good would that do?

inside a sigh

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 08:59:24 GMT

ive got a full house hand of cards hidden in my sleeve
waiting in the wings so you wont get too close to me
im like a cat in that sense, ready to pounce
and always willing to leave
just dont think you know me by my action,
thats all i ask
and dont judge the present by the past
because action never made the man
inaction is adequate for that task.
its what lies inbetween what i say
that speaks the truth in what i do
and that said, ill never say i love you

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 06:39:22 GMT

im secure enough to admit my insecuirty
and humble enough to admit my pride

took my roomate to the gay parade

Mon, 22 May 2006 03:51:04 GMT

it was the day
of the parade
and all the children played
while selling lemonade
at the party, at the park
that marked the start
of the games and cherades,
painting faces and the town
with smiles all around
proudly worn and displayed
like the colored flags that waved
as all the people marched
in may's gay parade

things have changed

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 10:05:34 GMT

the mountains are weathering
us like rust beneath its blood
that once flowered such a love
like seams that stream with rain
and ebb and flow
and it goes just the same
as the fountains are gathering
us like dust that turns to mud
that once flowered such a bud
like dreams that scream of pain
and each will grow
and the echoes will remain

can you hear me
when i whisper?
without any words
just a breath
without any way
to try my best
and i thought if id stay
awake
it would all turn my way
and i thought if id pray
in a wake
it would all turn out ok
and i used to care
and i used to sigh,
but things are strange
and ive used this air
and i used to lie ,
but times have changed

the canyons are curving
in around the crest
of the cliffs that are forming
in a mound behind your chest
and the dust is centering
with the snow, i am settling
like the sun im almost set
and i used to care.
and then he said,
"...no, its not dark yet,
but its getting there..."

the catholic

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 07:12:47 GMT

at first i saw you and i wanted your sight.
and then i spoke to you and took down every word.
we wrote for hours before i met you.
and we talked for hours while i walked with you
and i had no idea what to say.
i had no idea what to do.
i just knew i wanted to know you,
from the inside out,
i just knew i should get to know you
and then get to know you a little more.
and i wanted to do what i thought was a move
to make you mine.
and i thought you wanted it too.
you were right and you are right.

at first i saw you and i wanted your sight.
i wanted. i burned. i set myself on fire.
but i saw you sitting there like a buddha.
all calm, collected and patient, like a buddha.
so i sat down too.
you will always be yours
and that will always be true.
and now the waves move a bit slower
and each moon is a bit brighter
each smile is a bit wider
and now i am a bit wiser.
and i can sit still and smile
and i could sit with you the whole mile,
how id love to sit with you the whole while.

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 20:15:28 GMT

purple green kisses and things
that make your wishes scream like
dreams of evergreen witches

temperature

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 20:01:07 GMT

at the peak there lies a ceiling
made of glass.
it overflows like the emptiness
that never lasts.
theres a reason that doves never die.
and theres a reason i dont know why
snow melting can make you cry.
theres a reason without a logic
to everything in memory we find nostalgic.
and something in the hills is taking note,
with desperate eyes and a trebbling throat
singing a song of sounds and echoes.
it sings and flows from pangs and arrows
that fills and grows to rigid hollows
of a chest
made of glass
cracking under one warm breath
that never lasts

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 21:43:52 GMT

i see you sitting over there
straining your eyes through your hair
with downward glances and pale hands
with stale stances and high demands
just keep your eyes through the pane
of window rusting in the rain
youll never move a mile, baby
although your sitting in a train
because the destination is a smile
and you cant even play the game

lets walk through the phases
i see you like linger
threading mintutes into ages
with one swipe of your finger
we could drink this drink forever
with one swallow of your tears
but tomorrow could come never
if you cant last the years

i see you smiling
they say its a frown
but i know that theyre lying
your worlds just upsidedown
so c'mon let start singing
we'll sing your favorite song
through the seats theyll hear it ringing
so they all can sing along

down the velvet aisle
a crowd of people lend an ear
theyve been listening for a while
but all the sound that i could hear
was the music of your smile,
and ive been listening for years

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 21:24:04 GMT

like a switch

took a razor to my head

turned it on and took it off

it grows longer each day

and fuck it anway

i cant find the words to say

theyve fallen to pieces

swept up off the ground

cut down

swiftly with the vibration

of a buzzing sound

out and loud

its in my ear

the background music

is all i hear

it plays on

and it all comes

off

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 21:23:37 GMT

words just dont do the trick and cant match the price,

insert a cheap rhyme here to make the sounds fit nice.

but it all ends up sounding like shit, a cacaphony of my symphony

verbatim exagerations that dont quite seem right

a neverending struggle to express, like a freight train running

an expressway that leads nowhere, just keeps flowing to the right

and keeps creeping toward the edge before they fall o

f

f

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 21:23:01 GMT

thats what it is.

its an openness. its a freedom. its where you can go outside of yourself, and enjoy the veiw. take it in, from without.

its grounding, a validation.

its a reminder: that the world is just a place, and what do places matter.. when everywhere you go, will always be here.

such a simple concept. if we can just understand that its all so very simple.

its this moment, its now, and its everwhere.

its truth. and its beautiful. oh, its so very warming,

oh, ...its so very warming.

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 21:22:00 GMT

these words are doing a number on me.

im worried the meaning will show through my tone.

a melodic break in structure, like that antique instrumental.

the moods suffocate and kiss the standstills to a stirring

repeticious relaxation soothes at the tip of y' ear

if i needed someone, maybe id spend my time yearning

in absence, the rains of years are burning.

id cry at corpus christi with two glasses at my tongue

a taste of bitter light and soft release

violent thrusting throws the eyes, sightless

jaw locked in place and voice of grace

my God, its a beautiful place.

in the back of the head it grows

stick around and it may show, i dont know.

stroke and coaxing strings to sleep

while guitar rythms through air sweep

like a paul and eric track in the making

put a little more emotion into it, please

but please forgive me for my motions

they fill and spill out, in those ways

my heart acts as a spout that preys

for confessions of predators with endless crimes

and it leaves me flatlining for hours

until it skips a beat and sets me free.

oh god, dont let me

drink of the sea.

goodbye

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 22:55:54 GMT

this may be my last post.

baptism of the phoenix

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 04:18:30 GMT

were we the victim of the idol,
idle lies and white eyes acting
sightless, gazing in the dark
lightless sayings like the rain
echos, reverbs, adverbs, nouns
lock the jaw up in place
the pace of speaking slows you down
she says, i think theres something, somewhere
something i havent found.
a silent stare
as i sweep my words up off the ground.

mother, ill meet you in the garden
someday
and then 'i love you', ill say
cant you see ive lost my path
the one that leads back to that place
life cost more than i care to pay
i fuck and i swear far more than i pray
as long as i can be with you just one more
everything will be alright that day

two men are forming from the mist
figures through speach
fire at my crown and water filling my wish
my goal has always been to teach
and i wish i could have been there, when we spoke
your shape is forming in its own, and im proud.
he has my hand while i guide him through the smoke
just dont let go, i dont think id live without you
and well meet at the shoreline, and paddle one way out
just dont let go, and we will figure all of this out

were are the victims we create,
the villians that we hate
and the lovers we cant relate
wake your eyes, sleep inside,
your the idol reincarnate

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 00:12:53 GMT

something is stirring. im trembling.

i would be lying to myself if i said i wasnt lost. im dissolving into thin air and i cant seem to collect myself. im the fading reflection in a dirty mirror, warping with time. fuck metaphors. i have nothing to believe in. i drone through life assuming different roles i think might be entertaining. i play the villian, i play the hero, ive been the lover, and im through with dreams. thats reality.thats reality.

the dream is over. what can i say.
the dream is over. yesterday
i was the dream weaver,
but now im sean.

its not a rebirth, its not a resurrection, its a death. an end.
im insecure, and im shivering inside. im afraid of everything i dont know, and terrified of what may come. the future.
i forget the past, and im nothing but a memory bound to repeat. another repetition in a hall of mirrors. they say thats infinity.
but again, they say infinity doesnt exist. another dream.

compact yourself into a solid core that can take a lot of hits, that can sustain indirect damage, and tolerate the weathering of time.
build that core, or slither like a snail in its shell.

i did

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 05:16:36 GMT

i hate the internet
no, no im sorry, i didnt mean it i love you
you have a lot to offer
but every second with you means im nowhere else
but i dont need to be anywhere
im splitting hairs
on my head, open like fissure
that ruptured from my clawing
and i need to get the fuck out
meet people have coffee over conversation
its never enough